Saturday, February 19, 2005

Mel's Mermaid Cross Stitch


This is the 'M' of M*N*O of 'The Prairie Schooler' alphabet
series. It is stitched on cream 18ct aida using one thread.

Geese Cross Stitch


This was a kit that I bought from ebay. It is stitched on
14 ct. cornflower blue aida with two threads.

100 & 1 Things

The last few days have seen me 'fiddling' more than anything else. I have spent loads of time playing with this blog. It is amazing how one small simple task can seemingly take hours to execute.

Mel's wedding now only 3 weeks away. Every second phone call is 'wedding stuff' I now know why parents suggest paying for the happy couple to elope. Last minute nerves all round. We are down to guest seating. I am writing a 'never ending' list the only way I will remember anything. One Hundred and one things to think about. And I still have the speech to write.

I have taken up with my cross stitch again - a very easy piece of stitching of geese I started last year. I think that it will look quite effective once it is finished. At least one of my ebay purchases will see 'light of day' as finished. I am trying to think 'outside the square' as what to do with it once it is finished. Mel's mermaid has taken a back seat for the moment after me stitching furiously. I have lost interest in it . I think it is because I can't decide whether or not to alter the wording, instead of having 'M is for Mermaid', making it 'M is for Melanie'. Anyway for what ever reason, it has ground to a full stop. I also want to bead it and can't decide what bead to use.

I have also picked up my knitting again. Erin's red scarf that she wanted last year - long, very simple stitch so I can knit without thinking too much about what I am doing. I have always wanted to knit a multi coloured striped scarf, but have made the excuse I am too old to wear that sort of thing. But have realised I am not going to get any younger !!!! This year could be the year !!!! Even though I am not a knitter - there is something about the steady rythmn that knitting creates that is somehow comforting and reasurring.

Pushed myself out the front door for a walk this morning - need that space that walking gives - 'me time'. Lately I feel my life is a series of compartments that I move between.

On the brighter side I have found a book on crazy patchwork - 'the magic of crazy quilting - J Mardha Michler ' - a new release apparently. I have ordered it from our local bookshop so I can use one of my Christmas gift vouchers. Looking forward to having a 'deep and meanginful' some time soon with it...

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Lots & Lots of 'Blank Pages'

I have just discovered that there are lots of 'blank pages' out there. Does this suggest people's states of mind. Most 'blank pages' are of course connected to creative ventures...

When I began this particular blog it was for a couple of reasons - one because I wanted a vehicle for my creative journey and the other was I wanted to play with this medium... I guess I wanted a 'working model' so that I could learn as I went along. I still feel very much a 'babe in the woods' and I wonder how other people feel especially the older age group where this is not a 'genetic skill' but rather a 'learned necessity' if we are to even have a look in. Me, I have trouble with anything that suggests more than a 'go' and 'stop' capacity. Although I do want an ipod - it is one of the first things I have really wanted. Nifty little idea. I loved my walkman when I first got it. But again I digress...

So I would like to evolve the blank page - that was my intention from the beginning, to begin with a blank space and then slowly bring it to colour - both here and off line...

I have thought more about my faces project... My trouble I think is that I want to 'fly' rather than 'crawl'... I am impatient with having to learn the basics so I 'can do'. I am now seeing things everywhere - a face in a magazine has me looking at it from a textile sense - using fabric to define light and shade.

I have rediscovered my prismcolour pencils and take them from their 'sleeping place' in the desk draw... As I look at there I see the soft and oil pastels, the paints etc... All neatly packed away and largely unused... It is time for my neat ordered life to have a bit of a 'bump'... A colour explosion... I think back to a shirt I bought years and years ago - the reason I loved it was the same reason I hated it - it was too colourful!!!!! Again it takes me back to the time when I sought the assistance of a career counselor... I saw a Margaret Preston print on her wall and commented about it - then we spoke about my career goals - social/welfare work and how I oscillated between one idea and another, undecided. Towards the end of the session after we had talked around my dilemma she asked if she could make a comment about when I first arrived. She then went onto say how when I had seen the print my face had lit up and I was animated and I spoke with passion but when the session begun and I spoke about what I thought I 'should do' and I became quite subdued. She also made the ventured the suggestion - had I thought about art as a career - I remember looking at her like she was talking about someone else. If she had suggested that I become a tight rope walker I couldn't have been more shocked. Interesting...

It has taken me to this age to begin to see that I confused art with being perfect, 'good at it' or technique. Now I am seeing that it is about creating, exploring and seeing things in different ways. I have come to understand why I like impressionist art - its sense of freedom. I have only ever seen the restriction in doing art - not the freedom.

When I look over across to the park I see the trees as moving forms of light and dark, the bark as textured whorls of abyss and ridges. I watch the light touch the leaves and play among the branches, leaving whole areas shaded while other are brought to life.

All my life I have been surrounded by a creative family, but especially my parents were 'slaves' to the God of Perfection. I have always known I walked to the sound of a slightly different drum and I am beginning to think that my beat was perhaps a little more 'irregular'. I believe I have always seen art in the light of as something you did when you have DONE everything else...

When I was a young woman - just out of school - I wanted to go to art school - but I went to work instead. To this day if I see people carrying art folios I wonder what they are doing, where they are going...

Deep within I have always had an itch I couldn't scratch and a thirst that wouldn't satisfy but I never linked it with the obvious. Why is it we don't see what we are literally tripping over under our noses?

Perhaps this time of discovery is my watershed. I have struggled over the last couple of years with the 'big questions' - wanting answers - perhaps now I am receiving them. And I am ready to acknowledge the wisdom that they might bring...

Sunday, February 13, 2005

In the Wee Small Hours

I am sitting here at this hour thinking 'what am I doing sitting here at this hour'... Yesterday was a wasted day. I think the stress of my 'other life' crowded in and I went into overwhelm.
With Mel's wedding now only a month a way and I, the mother of the bride, still 'wearing naked' is only adding to my difficulties... I think Mel's dress has added to my agitation. Grrrr!!!!! I have a 'sixth sense' that everything will be right on the night - but there seems to be so much ground to cover between now and then... Plus I have a speech to write!!!! It seemed such a good idea at the time - and I know that Mel is eager for me to have the 'right of reply'. I feel like a sheep dog running around behind those who are a little slow - biting at their heels to keep them in order... Roll on the 12th. March...

I have thought about my 'little' foray into 'having ago' last week... I think until my mind is clearer I will set my creating aside for the moment... I went back to my cross stitching this morning and just 'did some' - more as a therapeutic measure than anything else... I am beginning to see that I need some way of clearing a space in my mind as I seem to have become 'blocked'... Perhaps a visual journal, that way I can keep the idea and to a degree play with it plus give myself some 'ease'.


E went to throw out an old skirt today - I jumped on it and added it to my stash - nothing is spared or sacred now. Once she would have rolled her eyes but today she just handed it over. The material is not so spectacular but it could come in handy for something. Perhaps some beading on the floral design... Here I go again!!!!!!

Off to bed with me...

Friday, February 11, 2005

My Reply to a Response

I have decided to use my reply to a response I got from my last entry as today's blog. I want it to be a constant reminder to myself why I was motivated to start a blog. I am very aware that I could easily get so caught up in the analytical process and thereby forsake the creative 'doing'. I suspect that my analytical self has largely 'run the show' questioning constantly 'why?' I also suspect that in some ways that documenting/journaling each day will satisfy that part of myself. Instead of being two separate entities that there will be a co-operation between the warring factions. This brings me back to the visualization that was part of a workshop I did years ago... We were asked to see ourselves in two ways - mine were a a soldier guarding the palace and a barefoot gypsy girl sitting by a stream. The rigid and the flexible. I am beginning to see that this is also a journey about who I am in the world as much as about what I can create...

'Thanks sharonb for your comment... Since I have found not only your site and the links to other like minded bloggers but all the other 'bits and bods' it has been like an oasis in the desert... I 'feast' on them everyday and marvel every day at the 'wonderland' out there...And it is interesting how one part of our lives can stimulate another area which in turns starts another 'growing' and 'birthing' process...I am very much a believer in the philosophy of when 'the student is ready the teacher appears...' Taken in both the literal and lateral sense, it too is a process of when one is open enough to see beyond or further than the 'immediate'(what ever that may mean to the individual) then a subconscious path opens up to accommodate them - leading to the information,places, people etc which can be best utilized for the 'next step'... The adages about 'the first step being the beginning of a thousand mile journey' and 'it is about journey not the destination which is important aspect' are so true and so applicable to the creative process...I look forward to the future in not only spending time browsing, but creating...'

Thursday, February 10, 2005

First Attempt

What fun I had yesterday... The house looked like it had been ransacked... It seems that in every room I had something open... The box of materials spilled open, my scrap bags were spread all over the floor - I now know why I have packed then up every move I have made - it was for a moment such as yesterday... I cut up pieces of fabric with happy abandon... The sewing machine which has been rediscovered, chugged away...

I realized too late that I was trying to do too much... In as much as I had so many ideas all 'making a bid for freedom' that nothing was working... I made myself sit and re focus... What was I wanting to achieve? What did I want to see? This bought me back to my original idea... Whilst I didn't actually achieve anything tangible - I know that when I start again it wll be with a definite goal in mind... I have to somehow shake my age old demon of perfection... Grrrrr... It is such a strong influence and really takes me to task... No wonder I am so reluctant to actually commit myself!!!!!! If I make something it could be judged and found wanting... Still yesterday was quite a learning curve in itself... And I look forward to spending more time just 'playing'...

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Reflective Thoughts

I have been very reflective the last few days... Then the comment I received from fridayjulyeighth certainly 'hit home'... I can keep talking about creating - but it is the actual 'doing' which is the important aspect... Until I 'do', then talk and lament is all that I will ever do... I keep waiting for the right moment - but when is the right moment - and more importantly will I know it when it finally arrives... Who was it that said the 'creation was 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration' I guess that statement in its own ways sorts the ' the doers from the non doers'...

For instance - years ago I bought a triangular plate with faces... I bought initially because I like its design... Over the years as I have looked at it at various times I have always thought of all the other great applications could be made from it... And how with a little 'playing' with could become a great cushion or even quilt design taking into account both the shape of the plate and the faces... Faces have always fascinated me - my windcheater painting days always saw me drawn to faces. I somehow felt a real 'connection' as I painted them - layer upon layer of paint would reveal the character... I digress... Back to the plate...

Yesterday I studied the plate, - then it hit me!!!! Both the shape and design would lend itself perfectly to crazy patchwork... I could see 'it'... My latest greatest passion is crazy patchwork - I have loved it for ages but felt that I wouldn't be able to do it.. Too difficult, never done it before, etc... A revelation!!! Why didn't I just simply 'have a go' - 'what did I have to lose' and then think about 'what could I learn from it' ... So that is what I am up to... I have an idea, a plan and I will go as far as it takes me...

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Time Travel


Time travelers

I saw this picture whilst I was looking for suitable images to use as part of a mandala. Dandelions have always been my favorite. And like most children I would blow on them to 'tell the time'. This image has an ethereal quality to it. I thought that it would lend itself to fine embroidery through to fabric painting. Ideas and inspirations - no time for application...

Monday, February 07, 2005

Introducing The Blank Page

the blank page...

through this blog I would like to take the time to explore my creative journey. For too long now I have been going to 'make a start' - and it is that start that has been proving to be the most difficult and elusive part. Hence the name - the blank page. Before any creative endeavors there is always a 'blank page' in some form or another.

Over the year I have had an interest in fabric - not so much from the direct sewing side of things but more from design etc. I had a fledgling interest in printing on fabric and gave batik (wax resist) a try. Realised quite quickly however that it was the wrong time (small children -limited space) to explore that medium more fully. It was put aside and I then went onto cross stitch embrodiery - more portable and time lenient. And for quite a while I was content to just 'mess around' not doing much of anything.

Life changed and while I didn't return to hand crafts - they were not entirely forgotten. In the meanwhile I had attended craft shows and developed more than a passing interest in quilts. I kept telling everyone - or was it myself - that while I 'loved to look' I doubted that I would ever 'do'.

Over the last three years I have come 'full circle'. I believe this has happened for a number of reasons, some of which are related and some not. But for what ever reason I feel more willing to explore this world - if only to work it out of my system. I feel like a kid in a sweet shop - everything appeals to me. Perhaps rather than put pressure on myself I will just 'play' with what ever takes my fancy and see what happens...

I also have an 'constant itch' that refuses to be sated regarding my writing. I have 'fiddled' for more time than I care to think doing bits here and there. I even started a tafe course designed for writers, but for what ever reason I was not ever fully comfortable with it. My main interest in writing lies with the older children/young adult market. Whilst I read everything and just about anything it is that genre that interests me the most. Some years ago as part of the course I began a novel aimed at the 10 through to 13/14 age group. Never finished it was consigned to the 'bottom draw', however of late I have began to re think it and would also like to 'play' again with it. Hmmm... More thought here... I have a feeling that by doing so that at last 'the beast' will fall from my back and I will be free.

And so the blank page turns...